a love letter to Words

dear lover,

i peeled out of sleep in the darkness of this morning with thoughts of you traipsing in my mind, like a mad masters dance, releasing, mocking. my mouth transcribed all the formulations that you conjured in my mind onto paper, onto paper. i smiled. our days together have always brought a smile to my face, an upward bracket that held within it all my joys and dreams. but then i chanced upon the world of facebook and my eyes caught a sight of its reflection. vanity affects all beings. it was a phrase so beautiful i felt smitten by it, and yet, envy churned in me. confetti in my eyes. oh, what a beautiful partnership of words. a picturesque eruption i wished you would have conjured in my mind first. alas, you did not. what a disappointment.

but fear not, for my love for you is unwavering. it is like the calmness of the sea - a single plane of blue, like a blanket rhythmically sending vibrations across the land. waves. a single entity of never-ending pieces. i know that you will soon create voluminous wonders inside my mind, wonders such as the finger pressers of indented paper, the extractor of silent notes, & the seismic scale of ground gazing. i have faith in you, my love. only in you.


Yours truly,
n.

day 25

"pimpled boy dreams of major boobage"

day 23 & 24

"man & dead ghost wife. together apart."

day 22

"autopsy of a rainbow"

*click picture for textured detail!*

unveiling hybrid realities

so it's been a few days since i last got back from KL, Malaysia. one thing i love about KL is how real it feels. in fact, i have a feeling most if not all cities feel this way, except for Singapore. i don't mean to sound like one of those people who constantly diss Singapore - because i do appreciate a lot of things about this city - but it just feels too contrived, too sanitized. and sometimes, it would be nice to have some dirt lying around. it would give me something else to photograph for a change. but yes, i planned a solo trip to KL so i could get away from it all and just be with myself for a bit. but of course, i've learnt that being alone in a foreign place is actually worst than being alone at home. imagine sitting up in the hotel room late at night, in a queen-sized bed where you only occupy the left side of it, the rest untouched, as P.S. I Love You is playing on Star Movies. you sit there alone with a temperature because you were sick on your way into KL, and your tummy still feels (shitty) weird as you sniff away into tissue after tissue - used for both snot and tears, sometimes at the same time. eew. that movie always gets to me. tear jerker. and falling asleep is never easy because you're a scaredy cat who despite having finished your ghost thesis, is still afraid of ghosts and has an imagination that can summon them anytime. and so, i slept with the lights on. blaring hotel lights. under white covers. alone. not that it's any different at home but something about hotels just make it lonelier. but loneliness is good because it makes you discover things about yourself, things that would otherwise be clouded by the presence of people, work, or trivial distractions, like ice-cream. and these are things that one needs to know, or come to terms with in order to move ahead in life. hence, onward!

day 21

"moth boy"

day 10 to day 20

"alisa"

"sparrows"

"ass"

"lotus girl"

"the sun"

"meadow of death and despair"

"exploring her mouth"

"monochrome rainbow"

"untitled"

"invisible ink"

"unplugged"

the cork of everything

the scanner has been acting strange
so 'art-a-day' will resume when i get back from KL
days 10 - 18!
woah
till the 18th!

book cutting

i found some of my mom's old hardcovers. she didn't want them anymore, and so, i attempted book-cutting. it was fun from start till end, but the 'fun' evolved through different emotions - glee, pain, and even pleasurable pain. it was worth it in the end though. i've made the book into a tree, with a hollow trunk to fill in things with.

day 9

"managing rainbows"

day 8

"octopussy"

day 7

"be abnormal"

day 6

"detaching the academic"

early 2010 rant

the new year has been awesome so far. submitted the thesis. have been productive every day. drawing. typing. storytelling. have yet to clean up my room. will do it soon. sent out over 40 letters, locally and globally. postage is pricey. i guess that's why emails are convenient. but nothing beats the sheer pleasure of receiving an actual, tangible piece of mail. at least that's what i feel. that's why i'll be starting up my Snail Mailers again. yaay! will be looking for a job soon. yes, will be 'selling out' and will be applying for a government job. need the money. the new nikon models are tempting me. will be retiring from academia for a bit. switch off.

day 5

"earth mother"

day 4

"losing face(s)"

a day late.

fell asleep on my face last night.

day 3

"home sweet home"

day 2

"bearing fruit"

the horizon, erased

the horizon, erased. she paces, back and forth. placing feel before feet. stumbling silently.
the horizon, erased. she searches for something else to hold.

day 1

"sisters"

as part of my new year's resolution

to do a piece of 'art' each day

2010

happy new year! i don't think anyone reads this space, but it doesn't matter. happy new year, nonetheless!

resolutions.
photo projects coming up. will be working on my Visual Taboo series, along with The Classroom photo series. and will be helping a friend shoot for her NGO in Malaysia. so loads to do.
at the same time, THE THESIS is over! finally. dragged my legless being across the line.

going to get a job. play the 'adult'. plan trip to India!
and find a new way to sign my name with the '10' at the back.
hmm...

Happy New Year all!